Tuesday, August 6, 2019 - 03:10 AM
So, I was a kick butt mother this morning.
My doctor upped my medicine last week and I’ve been feeling goooood. No more out-of-control, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type parenting for this mama.
Not anymore.
I am Mary Freaking Poppins, y’all.
So today I baked muffins and read books to my babies and picked out adorable matchy-matchy outfits, all before school.
They didn’t even fuss when I got them dressed.
I was patient with their breakfast table meltdowns and gentle with discipline.
I was pretty much a bastion of parenting perfection.
Somewhere between packing lunch boxes and brushing ponytails and generally herding cats (like moms do), I threw my black skirt in the dryer to get the wrinkles out.
Who has time for an iron, am i right?
Not me!
I was busy being SuperMom. Into the minivan kids! Time to sing happy songs on the way to school!
We got to the preschool five minutes early, and when the teachers pulled my babies out of the car, I blew kisses.
“Bye kiddos! Mommy will be back at 3!”
Maybe we will bake cookies. #Fromscratch
Then I drove to my doctor’s appointment all the way across town with ten minutes to spare.
That’s right. GLANCE UPON MY GREATNESS, YOU UNDERLINGS. I am SUPER MOM.
I hopped out of my van with my Starbucks and my side ponytail and
WHEEE is it breezy today or is it me?
Omg.
no pants no pants no pants
NO PANTS!!!!
My skirt is still in the dryer!!!!
But now my appointment is starting so I guess I’ll be clinging to this tunic like a wet cat to a curtain for the next two hours?!
And OH. I just realized I’m wearing floral granny panties. The HOLY kind, if you hear me.
NOOOO!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭
YES Lord, I have heard Your voice. Pride cometh before the fall and I was was so proud—SO PROUD—to be Mary Poppins.
Welp. I guess it’s true that I won’t be flying by the seat of my pants, today.
Because I DONT HAVE ANY FREAKING PANTS.